Punished by Rewards
by Alfie Kohn
Rewards and punishments are the same problem. Here's the evidence.
For you if
you use rewards and punishments with your child and have a nagging feeling it's not quite working the way you hoped
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Kohn's central argument is both simple and devastating: rewards and punishments are the same thing. Both are attempts to control behavior from the outside, and both systematically undermine the intrinsic motivation that produces genuine learning, creativity, and ethical behavior. Gold stars, grades, candy, trophies, praise contingent on performance — all of it teaches children that the point of doing something is the reward that follows, not the thing itself. Kohn spent years compiling the research and it is overwhelming: contingent rewards reliably decrease interest in the rewarded activity, reduce the quality of creative work, and produce children who are dependent on external validation rather than internal satisfaction. The book that most directly challenges the behavioral psychology running most American schools and most American parenting and the one that asks the most uncomfortable question: if we want children who are genuinely curious, creative, and ethical, why are we using the exact techniques most likely to produce the opposite? The intellectual companion to Free to Learn and Deschooling Society: Gray provides the evolutionary science, Illich provides the philosophical critique, Kohn provides the behavioral evidence.
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